By WILL BUCHANAN
First Level
The first level is a flashback level where you are a old man retelling the events of the last level of the game to your grandson. Only your grandson doesn’t exist yet and it’s really you in the present day imagining what it’ll be like to be an old man retelling the last level of the game to your grandson. Then your grandson (who doesn’t exist) kills you.
Second Level
You are dropped into a war zone. Bombs falls everywhere and bullets whizz past you. Your comrades scream at you to start shooting, but there is nobody to shoot. They scream and push you into battle and then they hold up an A4 picture of the enemy: It’s you. The level finishes when you shoot yourself in the head.
Level Three
You begin the next level as a piece of your brain tissue that’s been transported 64-million years into the past through a time warp that occurred during the self-inflicted gunshot. You are being studied by scientists who are laughing at you but you cannot figure out why. The level finishes when you’ve written in ten potential reasons for being laughed at to:
Laugh Bag
PO BOX 7890
Sydney 3000
Level Four
In the next level you are a newborn baby watching videos of babies being born. Your mother (whose likeness is skinned into the game using new Friend-Shot Skinning Technology) bursts in and accuses you of being trapped in the Oedipal complex. She starts taking her clothes off. Then the level ends.
Level Five
You play through the life of 16th-century Venetian cobbler. Events unfold in real time and take 97 years to complete. The level explores the themes of love, abandonment of dreams, and how much the Black Plague sucked.
Level Six
You are back fighting in the present day. When you look down you have paws. You try talking but nobody understands you. You slowly transform into a dog throughout the level, but none of your comrades mention this fact to you.
Level Seven
You are still a dog and are before a Naval jury for breaching order 792.10: being a Canine while in the armed forces. They are about to execute you but when they open the book with the verdict the page has been torn out by something with teeth. They suspect you. Then a bunch of Russians start invading and you are the only thing that could possibly stop them.
Levels 8-15
A surprisingly solid first-person shooter.
Level 16
A showdown with the final boss. Just when he is about to execute you, your teammate and best friend jumps in front of the bullet and sacrifices his life for you. You cry a single solitary tear, and when that tear hits the ground it destroys every weapon known to man. You ask your superiors if you can bury your dead comrade, but you are refused because he never existed; he was a weapon of the United States military and you destroyed him when you destroyed all the weapons. Then you notice that you have been shot. The credits start to roll.
Training level
After you played through it and completed it, you now have the mental resolve and required skills to begin the training level.
(Source: youmightfindyourself)
Pants of Exceeding Consequence, a short film by Aaron Beckum.
“RICKY GERVAIS MEETS…LARRY DAVID”
When Ricky Gervais was asked to take part in a series featuring comedians talking to their comedy heroes, he found a polite way of saying no; only if he could meet Larry David. Gervais then forgot all about it, knowing full well that David is a legendary dodger of interviews. But the creator of ‘Seinfeld’ and ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ actually said yes.
During ‘Ricky Gervais Meets…Larry David’, the two of them talk about keeping comedy rooted in reality, as well as about being interviewed badly by journalists and the hope that these sessions will turn into conversations rather than stilted exchanges. (via rickygervais.com)
The hilarious and illuminating hour long special can be viewed on Youtube in six parts. Begin watching by clicking here.
On Jan. 5, 2006 he interviewed Larry David in a one off special, Ricky Gervais Meets… Larry David. On the 25th and 26th of December in the same year Channel 4 aired similar specials in which he interviewed the actor/comedian Christopher Guest and comedian Garry Shandling. There are no plans for further episodes of “Meets…”, although editions with John Cleese and Matt Groening were recorded in 2006 for broadcast in 2007. (via Wiki)
Happy Towel Day!
Douglas Adams, best known as the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, died of a heart attack at age 49 on May 11, 2001. He was cremated in Santa Barbara and his ashes are buried in London, where a Service of Celebration was held.
His fans wanted to organize some kind of wake in his honor. Because some time was needed to get the word out, Towel Day was organized two weeks after his death, on 25 May 2001. After its initial success it became an annual event.
Extract from the proposal posted in the “Binary Freedom” forum by D. Clyde Williamson, on Monday May 14, 2001 06:00am PDT:
Douglas Adams will be missed by his fans worldwide. So that all his fans everywhere can pay tribute to this genius, I propose that two weeks after his passing (May 25, 2001) be marked as “Towel Day”. All Douglas Adams fans are encouraged to carry a towel with them for the day.
Make sure that the towel is conspicous- use it as a talking point to encourage those who have never read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to go pick up a copy. Wrap it around your head, use it as a weapon, soak it in nutrients- whatever you want!
More questions about Towel Day? Look no further!
The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Sperm Whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet and since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell:
The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What’s happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my… well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a… tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what’s this roaring sound, whooshing past what I’m suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I’m dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There’s an awful lot of that now isn’t it? And what’s this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like ‘Ow’, ‘Ownge’, ‘Round’, ‘Ground’! That’s it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it’ll be friends with me? Hello Ground!
[dies]
The Book: Curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, ‘Oh no, not again.’ Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
826DC’s Museum of Unnatural History
826DC is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting students ages 6-18 with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write. Our services are structured around our understanding that great leaps in learning can happen with one-on-one attention and that strong writing skills are fundamental to future success.
826DC’s storefront, The Museum of Unnatural History, showcases the rarest of rare and the surrealist of surreal artifacts from times long past. Dedicated unnaturalists and enthusiasts of history (that might not have ever happened) will love perusing the vast collections and museum curios. Be sure to marvel at the museum’s unbelievable animal assortment, featuring everything from weagles to owlephants, and explore, if you dare, the store’s built-in cave (yep – it really has a cave). But we also sell Unicorn Tears, Confused Wood (from the makers of Petrified Wood), Weather Rocks, Wallace’s Primordial Soup, Future Mold, Scorpion Finders, and much more. Come visit.
New Threadless 10 year anniversary book.
“With its message of passion, creativity and fearlessness, the Threadless book is more than just a visually-stimulating flip through. Its 224 pages of design, artwork and creativity make for an inspirational read.”
Posted by JC
This is a must-have. Putting it on my Christmas list right now.
